What with the first ever three-way Indie Kombat coming up soon BEGINNING TODAY (Chevy Ray vs Sophie H vs Arthur Lee, if you hadn’t heard), I figured it’d be fun to get in touch with the three participants and see if they’d be interested in some pre-game smack-talking.

The third and final reply I got was from Chevy Ray Johnston, and…it’s a rap. It’s a rap song. Chevy Ray Johnston wrote a rap song and emailed it to me, and now all of you get to see it.

Yo S & A, whaddya say, ready to take on emcee Chevy Ray?
If you’ve got the nerve and time you better heed my rhyme,
‘Cause I’m bout to bust yo bitch-asses in game design

I’m Chevy you get it, don’t let it slip your mind, ’cause if you forget it for a second you’ll fall behind
An hour each day is all a brotha needs to beat you mothers you your knees in the Indie K free-
-Style’s what I got and fame’s just a game I can play it or make it before it even hits yo membrane

Mr. Underside’s residing in his undeciding state
Of Derek/Fish obsession that he can’t escape
He plays it like he’s just joking and poking fun
He’ll be crying my name the same before I’m done

‘Cause he’s got the guts but ain’t got the skill
This hater’s gotta learn how to love and not kill
Passion in a fashion like Super Joe
(His boring butt-buddy and sideshow)

And Miss BOXGAME fox who can talk the talk
An extra x-chromosome to take on the cocks
But this nutter can shut her trap and stop talkin crap
Because it’s the box she’s in that’s her real trap
Outside it is a riot to this narrow-minded chap
But inside it is quiet and where her mind will nap

Her captivity’s a sin to creativity, productivity
In my vicinity her vanity’s insanity
So I’m sorry once again for the profanity

But this ain’t no competition, sir
It’s gonna be a fuckin’ massacre
This mad Indie Kombat 3-way
Is goin to emcee Chevy Ray

Word

Word indeed, Chevy Ray.