It’s time to quit messin’ around, y’all. Blip Festival 2011 is a mere 5 days, 5 hours, 7 minutes and 57 seconds away, which we know with absolute certainty thanks to this stress-inducingly precise countdown timer set up by Ten Thousand Free Men & Their Families. Oh, that reminds me: he’s gonna be selling eight hand-crafted unique pizza-themed 5″ vinyl singles at Blip, and that’s gonna be the only way to get them, so…

Okay. Let me back up for a second.

For the uninitiated: Blip Festival is essentially an annual(ish)  three-day chipmusic party organized by 8bitpeoples and The Tank. There are Blip Festivals all over the planet each year, but Blip NY is, bar none, the biggest chiptunes event in the world. In case I’m being at all unclear: IF YOU CARE ABOUT CHIPMUSIC, YOU SHOULD TRY SUPER HARD TO BE IN NEW YORK NEXT WEEK.

Also, we’ll be there! Bytejacker! And you! Hangin’ out! For real! (By “we,” I mean myself and Anthony. And also, if you’re good, maybe a little bit of Jon.) Expect videos, interviews, video interviews and all the good stuff in between.

If the draw of partying with me and Anthony isn’t enough to lure you in, click the poster on the right for the full line-up. No, you’re not reading that wrong. Yes, that is 30 different chipmusicians and visualists packed into three days. No, it’s not too late to get tickets.

The festival technically starts on Thursday, May 19 and runs from 8pm to midnight every night, but if 12 hours of chiptunes in three days isn’t enough to satisfy you, there’s plenty of other chip-happenings in New York next week:

•  Call it Blip Festival, Day Zero: Sabrepulse is having a release party at Monster Island Basement in Brooklyn on Tuesday, May 17 for his new EP “Close To Me”, where he’ll be playing alongside The J Arthur Keenes Band, cTrix, Henry Homesweet, Je Deviens DJ En 3 Jours, cTrix and Sievert. That’s one hell of a line-up, especially for $10. Doors open at 8 pm. Hit it up big!

•  Wonderful chipmusic blog True Chip Till Death is having their annual awards gala at The Tank on Wednesday, May 18! Distinctions include Best Label, Best Song, Best Mixed Media Work and more. It’s an open mic event, so artists will be pulled at random.  Also: the awards are gonna be hosted by this guy. The open mic bit will be hosted by someone even crazier: Facundo. If you’ve met him, you know what I’m talking about. Ten bucks to get in, unless you have a Blip Festival three-day pass, in which case: totally free! Believe it!

•  Blip ends when the clock strikes twelve, but that don’t mean the party stops, y’all. After Blip wraps up each night, Brooklyn indie arcade Babycastles will be hosting afterparties every night from midnight to 4 AM! Planned festivities include “games, Indian food, and live music / DJ sets.” Okay, then! Each night will be curated by a different organizer: Thursday’s afterparty will be assembled by Motherboard.TV, Friday’s by Gigantic Magazine and Saturday’s by tylerperrysofficialwebsite.com. Which is an excellent name for a website.

I’m pretty sure we’re all gonna need the literal biggest nap when next week is over. But it’s gonna be so worth it. See you guys there, you guys!