Square Enix brings serious console-style gaming to the iPhone (finally) with Chaos Rings. But man, that $12.99 price is harsh. Is it worth it?
We also take a look at your favorite Street Fighter characters, and just what strange powers does the roof have over Anthony?
RADAR: Chaos Rings
iPhone, RPG, Square Enix, $12.99
Free Indie Countdown
#3: Poto & Cabenga – Flash, Platformer, Honeyslug – LINK
#2: Action Fist – Windows, Platformer, Beau Blythe – LINK
#1: Quietus – Flash, Platformer, Time – LINK
Feedback: Best Street Fighter Character
Here comes a new challenger! You weighed in with your favorite world warriors.
Next week’s Feedback question: Who’s the most annoying Square Enix character? Weigh in with a video or audio comment on www.Bytejacker.com, a video response on YouTube, or a message on our hotline: (530) 675-GAME
Free Indie Rapid Fire
Copittra – Flash, Shooter, Jan Willem Nijman – LINK
Enough Plumbers – Flash, Platformer, Glen Forrester and Arthur Lee (Mr. Podunkian) – LINK
Talesworth Adventure, Episode 1 – Flash, Puzzle, jixology, Suggested by Carlos Magno and Laurence – LINK
This Week’s Music:
Norin Radd, “Becoming Superliminal,” “A Castle Under Siege,” “Paradoxes Are Unveiled,” from the album Anomaly – http://www.iimusic.net/catalog/2010/04/norrin-radd-anomaly
Stalking People is Fun!
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hahaha yes finally an awesome feedback question!!! and i know exactly what i am going to pick. My pick for the most annoying square enix character is going to be………….HA you’ll have to wait and see. It shall be a good one indeed.
The one guy in that chaos rings iphone game looks like Ansem, how bizarre.
Going for a kingdom hearts 2 character. My first thought was going to be kefka from final fantasy 6, though wasn’t sure if all of the final fantasys were square enix. I think they are, i might be picking kefka and then again i might be picking someone different and that will be one of the 5 remaining organization 13 bosses from Kingdom hearts 2. Cause they are a bunch of bitches. Then again i might even go with sephiroth, he is annoying in the kingdom hearts games as well.
Definitely could’ve done without seeing Anthony look up from his bed in the middle of the night and announce “yes, i’m coming.” TMI, man. Kids are watching this show, I think.
You think that’s bad. I just said I should be restrained when near kindergartens and maternity wards…
For new watchers that saw this, I was obviously referring to the “baby puncher” tag we always give frustrating games.
As a result I just had the pope on the phone asking me if I want to join the clergy /jk :p
Surprisingly enough, tho, this was a pretty family friendly episode. I’m always watching these episodes kinda thinking “Could I let my kids watch this?” and this one was a yes. There have been some great episodes that I wanted to but couldn’t.
Too bad they’re all out of town visiting grandma while I’m stuck here.
I majored in “Saucy Double Entendre Composition” in college.
I minored in Dick Jokes.
This episode reveals Anthony’s dark secret. No, not that Sanskrit. I mean the boy is SHORT! What, you stand about 5′ 3″, Anthony? Never realized it, but several times in this episode Jon’s there towering over Anthony. Don’t know why I never noticed it before.
We’re friends, right? I can pick on you like that and you won’t get offended, right? Good.
Gonna call you Shawtee from now on.
That’s the reason that I’m usually sitting in all the other episodes. I can’t help being 6’2″
….but yeah Anthony IS pretty short!
If Jon and Anthony ever end up in a fight to the death, I’d bet on Jon. How tall is Anthony, anyways?
And I probably really won’t get around to playing any games this week. I’m just going to Barnes and Noble every day and studying for like 5 hours, and I don’t think I could plow through my exhaustion AND be able to play the games properly. Dagnabit.
I may have the height and the strength but he’s got the stamina and the agility. I’m like that boss who swings his axe then get’s tired thus leaving himself open to attack.
I’m actually 4′ 6″. I’m wearing stilts.
Hey, Anthony! Here’s some support from someone who is 5′ 6”. You know we love you in spite of your “shortcomings” :)
And, Headphonic: Bruce Lee was 5′ 7”. Jackie Chan is 5′ 8”, as is Chuck Norris. Jet Li is 5′ 5”, I think. And those are some major ass-kickers (or should I say “minor”? :D ). As Jon points out, speed and stamina are important assets, too; if strength was everything, we all would play Zangief in SF.
A great, if somewhat creepy, episode!
Maybe Bruce Lee’s compensating for lack of height.
(ZING!)
You are so lucky you are a girl. If you weren’t Bruce Lee would one inch punch you into next week from his grave for zing-ing him.
Wow, you knew about the one inch punch?? Man, you’re knowledgeable… Then, you probably know that he would actually punch her, or anyone else for that matter, into next month, not next week! :)
Just woke up.. can’t get back to sleep… episode not up on YouTube yet. Thank feck for windows mobile 6x and skyfire. :p
Must say, on a dosy first watch, that level of shovel fighting is on par with early era star trek.
change of scenery, and somewhat improvised. Still going with talesworth.
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oh, and the “eye see what they did there” moment didn’t work out as well as i hoped =/
Definitely one of the funniest episodes so far. The random shovel fight was great, as was the petting of the brick and all the drama! Had me on the edge of my seat, when I was actually in my chair and not ROFLing or whatever they say these days.
Re: Blanka…yeah, I’m not proud of liking Blanka, but I picked him because he’s the guy I’d choose most when playing SF2 in the arcades. I mean come on, all you had to do was mash the punch button for the electricity attack. Simple, but effective. Later on when it came out on consoles I realized the true suck of Blanka, but we’ll just leave it at that.
I’ll stay lame and leave a text comment because I haven’t really played any Square Enix games to be able to answer the feedback question, but maybe I’ll leave a video comment if I get a chance to play the free indies.
Same here. I pick Blanka more out of habit, than for his skill. Snd because I was too much of a lazy ass to get accustomed to the others. Plus, I haven’t played a Street Fighter game in years, so the last time I played it, I would’ve sucked regardless of who I chose.
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This week was a huge pain. We had so much more planned for this episode but the weather kind of screwed us. We had rain all weekend, so I had to have the camera wrapped in a trash bag the whole time and on a tripod because I’m in most of it. So, I probably look a lot taller than I am due to the framing, especially at the end since my head is cut off cause I’m not there to see the shot.
Overall is came out pretty good. We figured the Trekkie’s in the audience would appreciate it.
You sneaky camera guy. No wonder I didn’t notice you were taller than Anthony in that episode. The only other episode I remember you standing next to Anthony was the one where you missed the GCD and I didn’t notice you were taller than him because you tilted the camera. Sneaky.
http://www.bytejacker.com/episodes/030 right at the end.
Luckily, Cloud is actually a great answer.
God, I hate Cloud.
Yeah, there was a parody of The Shining that was supposed to go in this week, too, but was cut just because of time and weather.
Hey, Shawty, good to have you back. Missed you in the comments section these two weeks.
Ah, I was totally like “Oh I’ll say Cloud, I hate that guy. I bet noone else will say that”
Damnit joe, taking all the good ones.
Well one, but still.
Take it, man. Don’t want it. I have no idea who Cloud is. It was just the only Square Enix character I knew the name of. I don’t know if he’s annoying. You can have him.
Oh thank god. I thought I was alone in my lack of knowledge of who the fuck Cloud or Sephiroth are.
One last thing tonight. Pretty meta this episode. I mean, at the start you’re filming an old style bytejacker episode that you’re not filming any more. Jon’s filming with a camera in his hand as he’s being filmed with another camera. If this keeps up you’re going to need another camera man. Was Anthony working the camera in some of those scenes where Jon was alone on the screen? There were some obvious tripod shots. Why am I thinking about this so much?
And doing those whispering sounds must have been a behind the scenes hoot.
Got a little scruff going on there joe? Stay up late and forget to shave during Ludum Dare and forget to start shaving again? Or are we trying to grow a Thores beard? (cough jk cough) Although, you know, you do look a little like the character William Riker with it. :)
If it’s not up on youtube soon I’m gonna have to go without seeing it on release night (again!).
27 on coptra? really?
less than 5 minutes, I got 79.
http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/4015/coptra.gif
Copittra is a dream come true! Will vote as soon as there is a button for it.
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still looking for street fighter matches! PSN:Hatori1181
Omg you have completely crushed my heart now from saying kingdom hearts is crap……
-hides in a corner and cries-
console yourself with the fact that SE will milk that cash-cow untill it’s udders bleed. And I will still hate all of them.
I don’t care if ya hate. Though hey i would play ya at street fighter but i don’t own it. I don’t know if i will go purchase it, i’m low on the dough so yeah. Though i have metal gear solid 4, that is like the only online game that i do have.
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Seriously, listen to her when she runs, and *try* not to get the wrong idea. ITS NOT POSSIBLE!
Vinelle is bad, but not the worst voice acting I’ve ever heard. Not even in a FF. Go back and listen to the awfulness that is the laugh scene from FFX. That would make anyone cringe. Though the worst voice acting in any game goes to a non SE game… Chaos wars. Here’s a taste, if you dare: http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=bangt7d9vGA&feature=related
AHAHAHAH!!! wow that was a good pick
Very good episode this week! Should’ve gone a bit more smeagol on the brick though. Star trek shovel fights…? Where? I want to see one.
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My pick for most annoying Square enix character. That pick goes to Xigbar from Kingdom hearts 2. I Just hope he is considered a Square Enix character though otherwise what the fucking shit!
Does your living room clock chime “Michelle?” That is hilarious. I love it. Is that every hour or just a couple times a day?
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So this was my first crack at a comment, and it’s reflected in the quality of said comment. I hope they get better as I keep doing them.
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I dig this video commenting thing.
copittra and taleworth are nice, but enough plumbers takes the cake :)
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I would respond to the Lord of the Rings idea but I’m totally infatuated with your shirt . . . . and the goatee . . . . and the sideburns! My respect level for you has just shot through the roof!
Dude, it’s Hawaiian shirt Friday, didn’t you get the memo? That’s alright, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt Friday too. Every Friday can be Hawaiian shirt Friday!
I wonder why I’ve never posted a video comment on a Hawaiian shirt Friday.
(I was trying for a little forced perspective to make myself look shorter, but I don’t think it worked because I was sitting down. Eiter way it was subtle.
Say hi to weird Joe Yankovic. :p
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Good stuff! And Anthony, don’t worry baby. It’s gonna be alright. Stay strong man. I know it’s hard…
Wow. Wow. I am golf clapping for your right now as I type this. Excellent, sir.
Thank you sir! I slow clap for you as well!
That thing for Vote for Free Indie of the Week…I got interested when I saw Enough Plumbers…I knew it had to be a little like Super Mario, so I checked it out on sootygames.com, and I’m trying to play it on my laptop…haha, nooot working out, although the game IS like the Mario games, in a way…here’s two things I find that is not really keeping my interest: I have only the ability to use right, left, and up keys on the keyboard (which my eye-hand coordination is nonexistent, anyway lol…oh, and I’m sure I can play this game besides on the computer :) ), but also the fact that when you grab a coin, it clones you! I can only keep up with ONE man on the screen, let alone FOUR of them! So, in the end, if I had to rate it…3.5 out of 5…would be 5 out of 5 if the game wouldn’t clone and confuse the already confused, like myself. That’s my two bits…the other two games…eh, I have no idea what they are. Coptra and Talesworth Adventure: Ep 1…they SOUND interesting, anyway…just wanted to weigh in on the Free Indies of the Week…Enough Plumbers just popped out at me.
Maaan I’ve had not time atall this weekend, filled with work work work.
Sorry about missing the comment this week! Couldnt even write my rant on how Cloud and sephiroth are the 2 most uninteresting characters ever, and how I found it impossible to get attached to any of the characters.
I’ll make time next week! I promise.
… OH yeah, and how in later movies and games, Sephiroth is all “Cloud, im your darrker side, oooo you’ll never get rid of mee” Like hes some inner demon of cloud, I mean, comeon, Sooo cheesy
Ok of course your going to say that about cloud and sephiroth if you don’t even know the plot of the game.
“However, the alien Jenova cells in Cloud’s body still allowed Sephiroth to modulate his behavior.”
What does that prove? Jerk!
Welll, see, I beat FF7 like, atleast 4 times. Ofcourse in my nerdier years, which I’m totally not like anymore *cough just finally beat chrono cross* and I get that he had soome kinda control.
I don’t know, I couldn’t connect to them that muuch, I mean cloud was cool, just bugged me at sometimes. And just didn’t seem that cool compaired to all the other badguys in Final Fantasys of before, spifically 6 had a real relateable one, not just a guy with a god complex.
They were just my least favorate characters. I mean Yuffie was pretty bad too, and who the hell like Cait Sith, but the main reason I didnt like Cloud and Sephiroth is that they were the main characters, and I couldn’t get connected to them as “Humans” atall.
But I guess thats just me, and I’m weird
Well Cloud Strife and Sephiroth aren’t human. The whole story is very very very interesting if you start from the beginning which is Crisis Core. Otherwise you might as well not even play it at all. I played crisis core then 7.
Hahah I don’t waaaannna keep talking about it
But yeah, played crisis core, It was alright.
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HOLY SHIT!!! You have no idea how right you are with Seymour. The biggest villian douche worse than sephiroth and Kefka combined. You know the worse form was fucking Seymour flux. He has that Cross Cleave which does like 1500-2500 to everyone, and by time i got to him i was around having everyone up to over 2600. So he was a complete asshole. He kills off everyone aeon if they even show up. Your only allowed one good attack with each aeon, so better off having all off them up to their overdrives so they can get a good 9999 damage to him. Even though the boss has a total of 70,000 Hit points, with his stupid black creature attached to his balls that has a good 9999 hitpoints. It decided to drain energy from Seymour himself and each time he drains less and less. He has the most annoying combo attack where he uses his lance of atstropy and then he uses full life on your guy which causes instant death because Healing attacks kill zombie fiends. So unless you have some kind of zombieproof armor you can just bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. Lulu is the worst fucking character of them all, her magic sucks ass, i never use her. Wakka is just a michael jordin wannabe which spins his blitzball on his finger then kicks it at the enemy. Kimarhi is just…….fuck him. Auron is actually strong, i used him all through the game, but at the very very end of the game, finally kicking omega weapons ass. Hard to believe but i actually got Yuna’s attack power to overpass aurons, how fucking pathetic is that. Who am i missing, oh rikku, ok not bad, but no chance in hell did i ever use her the whole game. I believe i’m missing another but forgot who it was. Tidus maybe, ok i got his whole grid complete and he was one strong mother fucker.
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My feedback response, hopefully I’m not too late here.
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I’m saying “crafty” there and not “crappy”. Kinda wish I had a better microphone. Hopefully you guys aren’t getting discouraged from making character-based feedback questions, because I like them a lot! This one in particular was just kinda tough to answer this week.
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